Full Transcript of Interview with Ames Brown from 'The Bachelorette'
Here is the full transcript of the conference call interview with Ames Brown from yesterday! The questions I asked him are highlighted in PURPLE.
Question: So you're definitely different than the usual contestant that they have on these types of shows, and especially Bachelorette. So I'm just curious why you decided to go on Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad?
Ames Brown: I guess I really didn't know I was different, well, frankly, until it was too late. And I guess if I am different, whatever it is, you Know, didn't really work. But hopefully there is someone out there for whom – or to whom my differences appeal, I guess.
Jennifer Matarese: So did you watch the hometown dates on TV?
Ames Brown: I did see the hometown date, absolutely.
Jennifer Matarese: OK, so after watching yours and seeing her time with the other guys, did it help you at all understand why she sent you home, or did you feel like ,you know, you guys had a great date and didn't really make sense?
Ames Brown: I felt like we had a great date, and I think one thing I really picked on, watching the hometown dates, is that my progress with Ashley certainly was a lot slower than the other guys. But I didn't see that as a negative, necessarily. In fact, in many ways, I was trying to take our relationship a little bit slower just because I wanted it to last forever, and I think a lot of times, both watching this show and out of real life, we see a lot of relationships that move super-quick and then expire just as quickly.
And I was having an amazing time with Ashley, and I started becoming really close to her. And it was a little bit slower than I guess – than the relationships around us, but I felt OK about that. And she's the kind of person that I really wanted to make something lasting with, and so I didn't want to rush it at all, and actually I enjoyed taking it slowly.
Jennifer Matarese: OK, and what does your family think of Ashley?
Ames Brown: I think my family really liked Ashley, and I had a feeling they would like Ashley beforehand. And afterwards, I was – and I'm still pretty confident on that.
Question: So my question is, I was wondering what your favorite qualities were about Ashley and what you saw in her that would make her a long-term relationship?
Ames Brown: She's pretty much happy about everything, I think, and she's really – she chooses difficult things in life but enjoys them. I mean 1,000 years of dental school and dance is probably the most intense maybe diversion I could possibly think of, and – but really has fun with it. And I don't know, she also seemed really curious about like all the things we were doing, and I like that in a partner, just having somebody who wants to like experience lots of fun things. And I don't know. We just got along. She made me very happy.
Question: Is there anything that you saw watching the show back that surprised you, that you didn't know about in terms of maybe her relationship with other guys or stuff that was said on camera?
Ames Brown: I think everything surprised me about her relationship with other guys, just because I really was just focused on getting to know her well and our relationship. So I really didn't pay attention to what else was going on. So watching the show, to me, 90 percent of it was new.
Question: So I want to go back to your family. I think your sister kind of noticed that there was a lack of spark between you and Ashley, and Ashley actually even wrote about it on her People blog recently.
Ames Brown: Yes, that was rough.
Question: How did your family react after watching your elimination? Were they like, "Yes, that's what we thought," or were they supportive? What did they do after the elimination?
Ames Brown: They were pretty morose because they knew that I really, really wanted to move on, especially I really wanted to move on to that next week, the first week in Fiji or the first – yes, I guess it'll be the first week in Fiji. So they were pretty sad, and I think that's just because they knew that I was really sad and thought we had a lot of potential.
Question: OK, and I'm kind of curious. The first reporter who got on this call said that you're different from other bachelors who have been on the series. And I'm curious like what exactly do you think are those differences?
Ames Brown: You know, that's the only question I can really say I don't know the answer to because that's something I hear all the time but I never really say. I believe it. I'm sure it's true. I just – I don't know.
Question: I'm trying to figure it out myself.
Ames Brown: At least nominally, I'm middle of the road. I'm not the youngest; I'm not the oldest, you Know, I'm not the strongest; I'm not the weakest. But different – I get different a lot.
Question: I think it's a combination of that you're smart and driven and traveled a little. That would be my guess on why …
Ames Brown: Those are good.
Question: I want to know like – you know, you said that you felt like you were falling in love with her. And, you know, obviously, like you said, it was a little rough to see her say, oh, no, we had lack of a spark. Do you think that, looking back now that you have hindsight, were you really falling in love with her, and do you think that?
Ames Brown: I mean definitely. Under the Magnolia tree, I was totally feeling – there was no uncertainty that I was getting very close to her. And I felt definitely like nothing other than feelings of love under the Magnolia tree or in the day leading up to the elevator ride or in the elevator, of course. And I just – I guess I wasn't in as much of a rush or unaware of – for the timeline involved, and that got me in the end.
Question: Do you think that she made a big mistake, or are you …?
Ames Brown: I don't know, you know, because I really don't know what – I know what makes me happy, but I don't know necessarily what makes her happy. And I think, generally, she makes pretty good decisions. The guys she kept around until the end are amazing, and so I think that she probably made a good decision in the end.
Question: Do you regret going on the show and participating and getting as far as you did, because, you know, obviously your family got involved?
Ames Brown: No, I had a wonderful time dating her. She's her – I don't want to say I'm trite, but she is amazing. And so, I don't regret it at all. It was very, very, very painful surrounding that, and for the weeks following our breakup or whatever that's called when that happens, and so that was painful. But I would do – it is better to have loved and lost, I would say, especially in this context.
Question: My first question is your hometown date seemed to go very well. And that seemed to be when you kind of – not necessarily opened up a little bit more, but we saw a little bit of a change, a little bit of a different Ames in that episode. What was really going through your mind that day that you spent with Ashley and your family?
Ames Brown: Well, at first, it seemed a tremendous relief to know that she has the interest in me to – ,you know, to go that far and to (inaudible) and – because it sometimes, it's very difficult for the lead, in this case, the Bachelorette, to show emotions towards me, like a suitor. And I think she was opening up and I was opening up at the same time, and seeing her family loved her as much as I did was pretty compelling for me.
And at that point, my hopes that she would become a permanent part of my life were becoming a little bit more realistic. And so that's when I started really, you Know, essentially falling in love with her. And that also made it a lot more painful the next day.
Morgan Lind: Yes. Well, what was ,you Know, another thing about maybe getting inside your head a little bit, what was going through your mind when you were at the very last elimination right before you were eliminated? I mean what were you thinking it could be you at all, or were you thinking it could be someone else?
Ames Brown: No, that's an excellent question, and I'm very, very embarrassed to say that that was the only (inaudible) I went into when I thought, oh, my God, this is almost a sure thing. I felt …so excited about us and our future, and especially about the next week because I thought, oh, my God, we've been through so much. She's met my family. Everything went great. We had an amazing kiss and an amazing conversation in the most beautiful place I may have ever been before. And I think this next week is really going to make an engagement possible. And so I thought, "Of course, we're going to be around next week." And I was just like, all right, let's go. It was awful.
Question: Hi. I just have to say, for a starter, that your home and where you live is just so beautiful.
Ames Brown: Well, thank you so much.
Question: So you just alluded a minute ago to not expecting to be eliminated and ,,you Know,,, perhaps an engagement, being on the cards …on the line. So yes, so we heard (J.P.) and Ben F. talking about they're, you know, ready to propose. Were you at that stage of being ready to propose if you got to the final?
Ames Brown: No, but by the end of the hometown visit, it was totally realistic and in view, and I was nothing but excited for the possibility.
Ames Brown: Because see, really, I felt like, sitting with my family, we had a great time together. I thought we had a great time together, you Know. And I felt we really connected under the Magnolia tree. And I think my expectations in terms of speed and timing were much different than maybe everybody else's on the show just because I was taking it slow on purpose because I figured this is going to be the rest of your life; no need to rush. Let's enjoy every step of the way and not hurry.
Question: Do you think maybe, in hindsight, taking it slow then was a big risk, because obviously you're on a show where a certain time period before the finals are chosen?
Ames Brown: Yes, I guess – I guess the only way I could have been – the only way I could have been honest to Ashley would have been to take it slowly, and I did take it slowly. So I'd rather just be ,you Know, honestly take it slowly. And this is only worth it if you end up with a relationship that lasts forever, and I think it's sometimes hard to hurry those things.
Question: Yes, do you think you actually had enough in common to last forever, because I know she did say on the date you had some similarities. Do you think there was enough of a base there?
Ames Brown: I thought there was enough of a base there. Maybe there wasn't.
Question: So it seems like everyone, including Ashley and Chris Harrison, weren't expecting you to survive your one-on-one day with Ashley. Ashley said she was kind of surprised by the day's outcome because she wasn't feeling much of a connection at the time, while Chris said in a TV Guide interview he kind of thought you were a dead man walking into the date. So what was your take on that? You know, had you been expecting to go home, and how much of a surprise was it that you didn't?
Ames Brown: I wasn't expecting to go home I guess before during the date just because I thought Ashley and I were a good match, and maybe we just hadn't had the time to acknowledge that together. And I treated the date like an opportunity to get onto the same page. And I guess maybe this show or situation expects a certain forwardness and extravertedness that I might not be used to, and I felt comfortable being open and revealing myself on the one-on-one, and maybe that's why it worked out. Needless to say, the one-on-one gave me an opportunity to know that I worked to reaffirm the fact that I thought I was right for Ashley, and that was wonderful, I hope, for both of us.
Question: OK, and you obviously got hurt during that boxing date. Do you think that played any role in Ashley choosing to keep you around and the next rose ceremony and that maybe it bought you a little more time, because, obviously, she felt a little sympathy for what you went through? You know, it seems like your sister even seemed to joke about that a little bit.
Ames Brown: Yes, I, to be honest, don't remember a lot of that week, but – because that was a pretty tough hit. But, you know, maybe she kept me around because that was so painful. But I – ,you now, I don't think so necessarily. I think at that point, and through the whole process, I think we were clicking pretty well. I don't know. That said, I'd probably do just about anything to have more time with her, so. That's – I don't know. I think she saw it – we had a wonderful one-on-one date. And a lot of people who had had one-on-one dates before me were already home. So I think we had something good going on.
Question: I wanted to say, first of all, I thought the way you exited the show was really, really classy. Like you didn't attack her or give her any grief, which I thought was really, really sweet.
Ames Brown: Thank you so much.
Question: I just want to, after this experience, do you think Ashley was right for you, or do you have a better idea of what you're looking for in a soul mate?
Ames Brown: I definitely have learned a lot and got a great feeling when I was with Ashley. And that feeling taught me a lot. You Know, I'll definitely look for that in the future. She's an exceptional person in so many ways, like really smart and beautiful and has a lot of like combinations of things that are rare to find in the same person.
And so I'm hoping, obviously, to find somebody who gives me that same great feeling and has those same great things or similar great things together. I don't know. It was a learning experience, a painful one, physically and emotionally at the end. But if I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I would – I would definitely do it.
Question: Great. And out of the guys who were left, who do you think she'd be best matched with?
Ames Brown: That's the one – I mean here – I really just spent all my time thinking about Ashley and Ashley and me and was I being too fast or too slow. I didn't even pay attention to what else was going on. I would – no idea, but …
Question: I mean after watching what you've seen so far?
Ames Brown: What I've seen so far, they all seem to have good connections. I'm jealous of them all, of course. But I don't know. They're – she has good taste. You Know, it's down to a good bunch of people. I couldn't tell you. I wouldn't feel safe betting at this point.
Question: So after watching the hometown date episode, it seemed like your family was so concerned about you getting your heart broken, you know, when you were eliminated, you walked out with – smiling ear-to-ear. So who was more disappointed, you in the moment or your family when they found out you were coming back to home to them for good?
Ames Brown: I think it would be hard to eclipse my level of disappointment that evening. I definitely had a smile on my face, and maybe that was some sort of emotional guard, or I can be pretty sure that it was I didn't want to make something that was already difficult for Ashley even more difficult. I just wanted to – and actually, I didn't want to put her on the spot or anything. I just wanted to exit as gracefully as possible. And she has great things ahead of her, and I just didn't want to be any kind of blight on that.
So – but that was an awful, awful week. I probably got out of the limousine where I get my interview and probably threw up or something like that. I was just – it was unbelievable. I have to admit I was totally disconnected in terms of what I – what I was feeling and I guess what was going on. So that was a pretty difficult realization to obtain in such a short period.
Question: Well, (inaudible) quite the gentlemen, and just one follow-up question. I believe it was in the conference call a few weeks ago with William. He couldn't stop praising how wonderful and interesting a guy you are, and even went as far as suggesting that you should have an entire television show about you so everybody could learn more. So if you did have your own reality show, what would we see on it?
Ames Brown: Hopefully me falling in love and starting a family. That would be good. I really – I don't think I have a huge entertainment future and don't really – it's not my – I don't think it's very much of my destiny. But I've enjoyed my brief stint on television very much, which I can pretty much only attribute to Ashley. I was so happy when she was the Bachelorette, when I learned she was the Bachelorette, and that just made it a great experience.
Question: I'm good, thanks. Let me just say that I'm a huge, huge fan of yours. I was really rooting for you from day one. And I was just wondering, do you still have really strong feelings for Ashley?
Ames Brown: No. I mean I wish her the best, but – and it's taken me, you know, a couple of weeks, but I just really would like her to, I guess at this point, (inaudible) have chosen the right guy, and I would love her to live happily ever after. She deserves it. She's a great person, and I'm sorry it didn't work out between us, but I think she's the kind of a person that would make a great wife and that this – and a great dentist. And I'm just excited to see her have a happy future.
Question: OK, and I think what bachelorettes everywhere are wondering is, are you currently single?
Ames Brown: Well, that's a great question. I think I'll get electrocuted if I answer that. I suppose it …I think we're supposed to watch the Bachelor Pad.
Question: Good. You kind of complicate this question a little bit with that last thing you just said, but a lot of fans have said they would love you to be the next Bachelor. Is that something you would consider, or are you going to cross that off right now?
Ames Brown: It's – I mean I would totally consider it. I guess the greatest thing that I learned about the show is that it – and I'm sure people disagree with me, but it seemed very real to me, and if it wasn't, then the joke's definitely on me. But to me, it seemed very real, and I would always welcome, you know, any opportunity to find the right person to spend the rest of my life with. But I actually haven't – obviously, I haven't even thought about like things like that. But yes, I would definitely think about it.
Question: OK. And a little bit of a different question. You've been all over the world, as you've said. Where's your favorite spot, and where have you never been that you would love to go?
Ames Brown: Oh, I have not seen a lot of South America, so I think that would be really fun. And I guess my favorite spot is, I've learned it totally depends like who you're with. So I don't even mind being stuck in an airport somewhere, as long as it's with somebody like fun that you want to spend time with. And but I love parts of Asia and Europe. I think a lot of people do.
Question: Good. So a lot was made of your Ivy League education and how poetic and smart and intellectual you are, et cetera, et cetera.
Ames Brown: Yikes.
Question: So that's sort of …
Ames Brown: That's the high bar.
Question: That sort of begs the question of why you would do a reality show, just because ,you know, I would assume that you'd be sort of skeptical of doing something like this. So I'm just curious about why, you know, a smart guy would say, yes, Bachelorette, not that it's a dumb decision or anything. It's just it's very curious to me. So what made you say, "I want to do this"?
Ames Brown: I've been single for quite a long time, more than a year, and I guess I just believe that love occurs in unexpected places, and it's even more romantic when it does occur in unexpected places. And for me, it actually did occur on the show, strangely. And I know that because I know how painful it was when I learned that it wasn't going to be fully realized.
Question: OK, and you said that you don't see yourself having a long entertainment career, but you are on the Bachelor Pad. Would you really be open to maybe being the next Bachelor, or, you know, you mentioned a reality show of you might feature your family and your quest for love. Would you do it, if approached? Would you have your own show?
Ames Brown: I doubt that would ever even be an option, but I don't know. Right now, I'm just focused on finding the right woman to spend the rest of my life with and continuing my career in finance.
Question: Now I'm even – I'm confused. But I will say this, I like the fact that you don't talk about it as a competition. You mentioned that you were dating Ashley and broke up with her. I think that's the first time I've heard it from a bachelor. So just tell me what are you looking for in a woman in the future, if you have one? What qualities do you look for?
Ames Brown: Something, you know, I learned and expressed on the show is like, for me, there really isn't a list of attributes. It's more the feeling that you get when you're spending time with the person. I think our emotions and our bodies are good judges, and I just want the feeling that I'm in love, not necessary, you know, a (tech) with a resume. And Ashley did give me that feeling, and I hope to feel that again.
Question: So how familiar were you with the show before you appeared on it? You've made a few comments that have kind of suggested you weren't too familiar with it. So how did you end up on the show, and can you talk about that a little bit?
Ames Brown: Sure. I was on a, you know, I was – I have to admit I wasn't familiar with the show almost at all beforehand. But I was on a business trip in Central Asia in one of the “stans”. I think it was Isbekistan, and I got an e-mail on the way back from someone in the casting department that said they had found me or something somehow I don’t know how and would I be interested in it? And at that point, I had been single for more than a year and I was like, why not? So, I flew to Los Angeles and followed it up.
I don’t know how they find people really, but I’m very grateful that they did.
Question: OK. And Chris Harrison said that before Ashley went on her one-on-one date with you, she kind of told them you weren’t really her type, so she didn’t know what to expect from the date. Do you think Ashley has a certain physical type in a man because (inaudible) have that similar long hair going on, but then she also commented that she loved (J.P.’s) shaped head, so do you have any thoughts on that?
Ames Brown: Yes. ,you Know, of course I’m just made to learn that I’m not ,you know, someone’s physical type, but ,you know, hopefully there’s someone out there who’s physical type I am I guess. I don’t know.
Question: OK. And lastly, the show didn’t really focus on what your reaction was to Bentley’s return in Hong Kong. While most of the other bachelors seemed really angry and frustrated over the situation, how did you feel about Ashley’s meeting with Bentley? And did you ever consider quitting because of it like (Mickey) did? Or, you know, how did you react?
Ames Brown: No. I just felt bad for Ashley. I felt like she was suffering a lot. ,you Know, I didn’t know what was going on between her and (Bentley), but anything that causes pain to somebody you care about sort of causes you pain. And so I felt bad for her, plus this is supposed to be her adventure and her falling in love and having a great time and so I think it was pretty painful for me and I’m sure for a lot of the other guys to see her that unhappy.
Question: Hey, Ames. After I, you know, I was on the Bentley bandwagon too, so I apologize if this is making you rehash, but, you know, you’re – I’m assuming possibly you might see him this weekend at the “Men Tell All” and I know that, you know, from talking to other bachelors, they have said that they didn’t know much about what Bentley said and he said one thing and was really saying all of this other stuff in private.
Obviously you cared about Ashley at least as a friend and were falling in love with her, to have seen all of the stuff he said and just sort of his attitude and his way of leading her on even when you did leave, what are your feelings in that? I mean what are you going to feel when you see him?
Ames Brown: I have no idea. I just hope Ashley doesn’t get hurt even more. I’m sure she won’t, but I think she’s over Bentley at this point. God, I hope so.
Question: But I mean, I don’t know, I mean it’s sort of been the source of controversy this year, I mean even with amongst viewers. I mean they felt like that was like really overboard. Like…
Ames Brown: Absolutely. It did seem very overboard. But I think Ashley moved on in a pretty big way and if she were to run into him in the “Men Tell All”, I think, you know, she would certainly be able to fend for herself at this point.
Question: You think, though, that because there is this sort of thing where the suitors for instance all sort of get to know each other and become friends and band together in a way. Do you think …
Ames Brown: You know, I was pretty bad in that forum because I was really focused on Ashley and me and basically just on Ashley and I wasn’t as social as maybe I should have been, which makes it harder for me to opine on things like this just because ,you know, I don’t know. It’s embarrassing but true.
We'll have to wait and see what happens with Ames on "Bachelor Pad 2" beginning on August 8th on ABC! So glad that this isn't the last we'll be hearing of him!
Hugs, Kisses & Roses,